Loneliness

A sudden change in plans this week make things a little harder to take.  I found out Leia will be coming into town tomorrow and will be leaving on Friday - well to save me a trip to VA in a week or so she'll be taking Ginger back with her.  This is both a good thing and a bad thing.  It'll save me at least a couple of days of travel and at least $400 just getting myself there and back.  But it also means I'm losing at least a week of time with Ginger.

I hope eventually this gets easier but right now it's pretty hard to take that friday afternoon I'll be in the house alone again.  Though this time I'll be losing Leia's stuff - kitchen chairs, a bed - things like that.  I'll need to dig around and see what I can find to get by for a while.  I have an old kitchen table I can use and one of my old beds is still floating around so I'll have those.  It's the next major step in a divorce that is soon to be over.

I'm getting there but the closer it gets the more lonely it feels - especially since I won't have Ginger around. I love spending time with her and I've been tearing up at the drop of a hat for the last few days.  I know I'll get through this in the end.  I keep looking around the house at Gingers toys and stuff and I realize in a few days I won't see her playing with them.  I am missing her already.  I hope I am able to break out of hermit mode before too long or this isn't going to work out.

I still need a job.  I've applied for a bunch of them but so far I haven't had any luck.  This week I've focused on getting things ready for movers on friday so I haven't done as much.  I've still been digging through the job sites and making note of any jobs that seem to be a good fit.  I'll have to actually apply for a few of them tomorrow so I at least have something in place.

Well, I hope this depression leaves me soon.  It's not too bad but I feel it slowly nibbling away at me.  I'm just sinking lower and lower into my old hermit mode.  It needs to stop or I will end up losing everything.  I can do this!  I will get through it because I don't have a choice.