Still alive

Well, I had a tough time the last few days but things are looking a little better now.  Ginger is now back in VA - there were many sudden changes in plans but in the end it all worked out.  Originally she was supposed to go back around the 18th of this month so I'd still have her for a week and a half.  Well, a week ago, I found out that Leia was coming her to get the rest of her things so to save myself going to VA and back I asked her if she would take Ginger back with her.  She was willing to do that so Ginger was going to leave a week or so early.

That was tough in itself.  It's always hard to see her go - but this time will be for 4 months.  She won't be back until the end of May.  But then I'll have her until September sometime.  But to make things worse - on her last day she should have been around the house until 2pm but because of snow in VA that got rescheduled for a plane that left at 11am instead of 4pm.  So a lot of last minute scrambles - a tearful goodbye and that was that.  They made it there just fine and managed to miss the snow so that was good.

I do miss her smiling face around the house.  It's weird not dressing her, playing with her, feeding her, answering her questions, and just generally being a dad.  This house is pretty quiet and lonely without her.  Gobo has been going crazy searching for more attentions, though.  Ginger loved to pet her and play with her so now Gobo needs to get all of that from me.  But over all I'm doing okay.

I've broken down in tears a few times - on the phone with various people, on my own, in a store, at Ginger's daycare going in to get her things.  But it's okay.  As my dad said in his last month - it was the people that couldn't cry that worried him.  So I'm glad Ginger has found a way to connect me to my feelings again.  And even at two years old she sees that I'm sad and tries to comfort me - either by wiping away me tears or offering me her favorite blanket - one of the cutest things that I've had the chance to see.

So to round things up - I'm sad, but I'm okay.  I'll get myself back into a routine of some sort this week and continue full force into the job hunt.